I know I’m good.


But lately… things just don’t seem to come to me.

Business is slow. And sure, I did say I wanted to be more selective this year. I made that conscious choice — to work with people who truly value what I do, to not hustle for pennies, to protect my time and energy. And still, there’s this ache.


I feel hungry

Abandoned

Not seen


There are people who inquire, send that email, then disappear. No reply. No thank you. Just silence. Sometimes it feels like a lack of basic respect for someone’s work, time, or art. And it stings. Not just because it’s business, but because what I do is personal. My heart is in this. My care. My effort.

And I know I’m not the only one feeling this. Another photographer recently said to me, “Things feel heavier in the photography world right now, don’t they?”

And yes. They do.


The bookings aren’t flying in like they used to, Instagram is quieter, the energy is… off


And if you’ve been blaming yourself, wondering what you’re doing wrong , you’re not alone. I’ve been wondering the same. Even though I know I’m good. Even though my work has grown, deepened, improved. Still, people ghost. They say they love my work but they don’t book. Or they come back years later and expect the same prices I charged when I was just starting out. As if growth should stay frozen in time.


I see the numbers on my website, I see people clicking on my packages, And then nothing.

It’s disheartening. Because I’m not charging the world. I’m charging what I should.


I try to stay positive. I try to keep showing up. But it’s hard when everything else needs you too, the meals, the emotions, the house, the small hands reaching for you in the middle of everything.


The only thing bringing me quiet joy right now is my garden.

It’s the one place where my effort turns into something tangible.

The seeds I planted during the dark months are finally coming to life. Even the tiniest leaves feel like proof that my care was worth it. And I think about what that same photographer said... that this year is asking a lot of us. To re-evaluate not just what we want our work to look like, but what we want it to feel like. And I feel that deeply. Because I’m tired of the hustle too. And also scared to stop.

I’m almost 40 and I’m still running. Still chasing the version of success that might finally feel secure. Still chasing wealth, or even just enough abundance to feel a bit more steady.

Sometimes I ask myself — what is in store for me?

What was I made for?


And I don’t have the answer

But maybe that’s okay

Maybe what I need right now isn’t more pressure

Maybe what I need is space


So if you’re in this place too ...wondering, doubting, aching , I see you.

You’re not falling behind. You’re a creative person navigating a shifting landscape in real time. That’s not failure. That’s courage.


You’re still here

Still planting

Still showing up

Still believing , quietly, stubbornly ... that something will grow



If you’re feeling this too…


Maybe you’re a creative or a carer or a woman who’s just trying

Trying to hold everything

Trying to grow something

Trying to stay soft in a hard world


This post isn’t a strategy. It’s a pause

A breath

A reminder that if things feel shaky, it doesn’t mean you’re lost


You’re allowed to rest.

To reflect.

To listen to what your creative voice is trying to say beneath all the noise.


I’m glad you’re here

And I’m with you in it.


Lots of Love,

Deborah xxx